What DID Jignesh Demand from his wife

DISCLAMER (RECLAIMER):

Your visit to this site is not a coincidence at all. Do not treat you coming onto this blog post or this page trivially. All the characters referred in this story are toned down or realistic accounts of real human beings like you and I. They too once walked, talked and smiled and cried in India. If you gut instinct tells you that it resembles any living or dead person known to you, it probably is. Be sure to give that person a hug, cup of warm tea or a shoulder to cry upon. I, SIF, MANY KNOWN AND UNKNOWNS WILL THANK YOU FOR IT.

As long as I can remember, ‘Dowry’ has always been a sensational word.

Regardless of your gender, Word ‘Dowry’ evokes strong emotions in most men and women whether they are married or unmarried.

It is one of those rare words that have often been used as a mono syllabic answer to many everyday and not so every-day events of one’s life in urban or rural India.

Like me, you may also have heard it as answers like this

“Why did so-N-so commit suicide?” Answer: DOWRY.

“Why did X Murder Y?”: Answer: DOWRY.

“Why is rationing on Kerosene so strict?” Answer: DOWRY

Dowry was THE one word answer heard for many events such as Murder, Suicides, Strict Rationing of Kerosene, Police, Heart attacks, New Cars, new scooter, new TV and so on ...

Media only projected it as demand from the husband to his wife. I was too naïve. Most do not pause to think of what if man did not demand anything but was just being framed.

The word ‘dowry’ as projected by media is a bane of existence for newly married woman in India. In most cases, Families of Husbands were projected as money mongers making unlawful demands for things like Scooter, Cars, Refrigerators, Cash, Jewelleries and so on.

Definition of word ‘dowry’ in Legal Sections of Indian Penal Code 498A has far wider implications than the simplistic portrayal made by media. Word ‘Dowry’ is defined as a term to describe any ‘unlawful demand’ made by husband and / or his relatives to wife or her relatives.

It is noteworthy that the definition of adjective ‘unlawful’ has been omitted. Such trivialities and details are deemed unimportant and left to the imagination and the intensity of the tears coming out of the eyes of a the married woman and her relatives. The Police, The Media the Government babus of India somehow believe that women of India do not lie. They do not see any Hindi Movies.

Below is conversation that could have happened in any Indian City between two men. First fellow is a man named Jignesh while another person is his acquaintance; let us assign the simple moniker of ‘NosyChap’ to this second character.

NosyChap met Jignesh shortly after Jignesh had been accused under section 498A by wife & her relatives for allegedly making ‘unlawful demand’.

NosyChap knew very well that Jignesh earned handsome salary from a reputed MNC company and could afford to live in a reasonably well stocked home.

NosyChap was a bit of curious kind of fellow (like you and me) and wanted to know more about the accusations on Jignesh making ‘unlawful demands’ from his wife.

Here is Verbatim (as much as possible) narration of what they spoke about, Enjoy:

NosyChap: “Jignesh, It is indeed sad to know that you are facing criminal charges. I fail to understand that when you are yourself so well placed, why did you make demand for such trivial things?”

Jignesh: “So you heard it. Thank you for the concern, buddy. It is evident from your question that you have already decided on a verdict and now just want to know the reasons?”

NosyChap (taking a step back): “AW, Come on man! You know me! I did not mean it like that.”

Jignesh (Waving off his hands): “Its OK! Its OK. I am getting used to it, you know. Since I know you very well, let me share a truth with you. You’ve heard it right. I demanded dowry from my wife!”

Jignesh pauses to clear his throat suppress a tear and release surge of overflowing emotions: “Yes, I demanded dowry but never really got it!”

NosyChap (defensively steadies his vibrating nose and in intensely curious tone): “I see. I see! Do you mind sharing your demands?”

Jignesh (Getting closer to NosyChap): “Not at all. Friend!"

Jignesh Starts using his fingers to enumerate his demands

• "I had demanded our cultural values from my darling wife."
• "I had demanded as much respect from her towards my parents, as I showed towards her parents."
• "I demanded support from my wife to build mine and her family, OUR FAMILY!"
• "I had demanded a feeling of oneness with contemporaries and love for the young ones in our family"
• "I had demanded patience and same amount of restraint that I was willing to undergo from my beloved wife so as to understand each other to build a strong foundation for us."
• "I demanded that my wife remain as much loyal and faithful to me as I was to her.”

Jignesh pauses to see the change in colours of eyes of NosyChap and then continues:

“But Since my wife and her parents, especially my wife’s mother did not have knowledge on how her daughter could fulfil my demands, they thought it fit to label my demands as ‘unlawful‘. Rest… As they say is history. You know it too. They have filed a case on me and my family under Section 498A IPC for making such demands.”

NosyChap (Placing his hand on Jignesh’s Shoulder): “I see! Hats off to your boldness.Buddy. I had no idea of what was happening in your marriage. I am genuinely sorry about my questions that may have caused some unwarranted pain to you. Out of ignorance, I had framed my questions badly, I had not intended to accuse you or anything like that.”

Jignesh: “That is fine! That’s the pill Indian society and media gives to the victims of 498A, the Anti – dowry law. I have no qualms in saying that I demanded dowry, for if what I had demanded amounts to a dowry in today’s era of Woman Protection and Woman Empowerment, then so be it. After all times are changing. Perhaps, I was unwise in expecting Definitions of 1960 cannot work today.

Jignesh (Changing topics): “Enough of me! Tell me about you. Hey, I forgot, Were you not getting married soon?”

NosyChap: “Yes, Yes, I am engaged. But now I will have to think twice, maybe thrice, maybe…”.

NosyChap stops in mid sentence as his eyes fall upon vacant payphone at the PCO across the road

“Sorry, I’ve got to make a call urgently. Catch you later …”

NosyChap runs off with agitated and scared mind perhaps to call of his parents to discuss the other side of Dowry that he had just learnt.

What will you do now? Did Jignesh Demand dowry?

Do write back to this blog, Cheers!

- Original Inspiration by Crusader- Edited by Kavi

Labels: 498A, divorce, dowry, marriage, Men, men's rights,
Society, women, women's rights