What DID Jignesh Demand from his wife

DISCLAMER (RECLAIMER):

Your visit to this site is not a coincidence at all. Do not treat you coming onto this blog post or this page trivially. All the characters referred in this story are toned down or realistic accounts of real human beings like you and I. They too once walked, talked and smiled and cried in India. If you gut instinct tells you that it resembles any living or dead person known to you, it probably is. Be sure to give that person a hug, cup of warm tea or a shoulder to cry upon. I, SIF, MANY KNOWN AND UNKNOWNS WILL THANK YOU FOR IT.

As long as I can remember, ‘Dowry’ has always been a sensational word.

Regardless of your gender, Word ‘Dowry’ evokes strong emotions in most men and women whether they are married or unmarried.

It is one of those rare words that have often been used as a mono syllabic answer to many everyday and not so every-day events of one’s life in urban or rural India.

Like me, you may also have heard it as answers like this

“Why did so-N-so commit suicide?” Answer: DOWRY.

“Why did X Murder Y?”: Answer: DOWRY.

“Why is rationing on Kerosene so strict?” Answer: DOWRY

Dowry was THE one word answer heard for many events such as Murder, Suicides, Strict Rationing of Kerosene, Police, Heart attacks, New Cars, new scooter, new TV and so on ...

Media only projected it as demand from the husband to his wife. I was too naïve. Most do not pause to think of what if man did not demand anything but was just being framed.

The word ‘dowry’ as projected by media is a bane of existence for newly married woman in India. In most cases, Families of Husbands were projected as money mongers making unlawful demands for things like Scooter, Cars, Refrigerators, Cash, Jewelleries and so on.

Definition of word ‘dowry’ in Legal Sections of Indian Penal Code 498A has far wider implications than the simplistic portrayal made by media. Word ‘Dowry’ is defined as a term to describe any ‘unlawful demand’ made by husband and / or his relatives to wife or her relatives.

It is noteworthy that the definition of adjective ‘unlawful’ has been omitted. Such trivialities and details are deemed unimportant and left to the imagination and the intensity of the tears coming out of the eyes of a the married woman and her relatives. The Police, The Media the Government babus of India somehow believe that women of India do not lie. They do not see any Hindi Movies.

Below is conversation that could have happened in any Indian City between two men. First fellow is a man named Jignesh while another person is his acquaintance; let us assign the simple moniker of ‘NosyChap’ to this second character.

NosyChap met Jignesh shortly after Jignesh had been accused under section 498A by wife & her relatives for allegedly making ‘unlawful demand’.

NosyChap knew very well that Jignesh earned handsome salary from a reputed MNC company and could afford to live in a reasonably well stocked home.

NosyChap was a bit of curious kind of fellow (like you and me) and wanted to know more about the accusations on Jignesh making ‘unlawful demands’ from his wife.

Here is Verbatim (as much as possible) narration of what they spoke about, Enjoy:

NosyChap: “Jignesh, It is indeed sad to know that you are facing criminal charges. I fail to understand that when you are yourself so well placed, why did you make demand for such trivial things?”

Jignesh: “So you heard it. Thank you for the concern, buddy. It is evident from your question that you have already decided on a verdict and now just want to know the reasons?”

NosyChap (taking a step back): “AW, Come on man! You know me! I did not mean it like that.”

Jignesh (Waving off his hands): “Its OK! Its OK. I am getting used to it, you know. Since I know you very well, let me share a truth with you. You’ve heard it right. I demanded dowry from my wife!”

Jignesh pauses to clear his throat suppress a tear and release surge of overflowing emotions: “Yes, I demanded dowry but never really got it!”

NosyChap (defensively steadies his vibrating nose and in intensely curious tone): “I see. I see! Do you mind sharing your demands?”

Jignesh (Getting closer to NosyChap): “Not at all. Friend!"

Jignesh Starts using his fingers to enumerate his demands

• "I had demanded our cultural values from my darling wife."
• "I had demanded as much respect from her towards my parents, as I showed towards her parents."
• "I demanded support from my wife to build mine and her family, OUR FAMILY!"
• "I had demanded a feeling of oneness with contemporaries and love for the young ones in our family"
• "I had demanded patience and same amount of restraint that I was willing to undergo from my beloved wife so as to understand each other to build a strong foundation for us."
• "I demanded that my wife remain as much loyal and faithful to me as I was to her.”

Jignesh pauses to see the change in colours of eyes of NosyChap and then continues:

“But Since my wife and her parents, especially my wife’s mother did not have knowledge on how her daughter could fulfil my demands, they thought it fit to label my demands as ‘unlawful‘. Rest… As they say is history. You know it too. They have filed a case on me and my family under Section 498A IPC for making such demands.”

NosyChap (Placing his hand on Jignesh’s Shoulder): “I see! Hats off to your boldness.Buddy. I had no idea of what was happening in your marriage. I am genuinely sorry about my questions that may have caused some unwarranted pain to you. Out of ignorance, I had framed my questions badly, I had not intended to accuse you or anything like that.”

Jignesh: “That is fine! That’s the pill Indian society and media gives to the victims of 498A, the Anti – dowry law. I have no qualms in saying that I demanded dowry, for if what I had demanded amounts to a dowry in today’s era of Woman Protection and Woman Empowerment, then so be it. After all times are changing. Perhaps, I was unwise in expecting Definitions of 1960 cannot work today.

Jignesh (Changing topics): “Enough of me! Tell me about you. Hey, I forgot, Were you not getting married soon?”

NosyChap: “Yes, Yes, I am engaged. But now I will have to think twice, maybe thrice, maybe…”.

NosyChap stops in mid sentence as his eyes fall upon vacant payphone at the PCO across the road

“Sorry, I’ve got to make a call urgently. Catch you later …”

NosyChap runs off with agitated and scared mind perhaps to call of his parents to discuss the other side of Dowry that he had just learnt.

What will you do now? Did Jignesh Demand dowry?

Do write back to this blog, Cheers!

- Original Inspiration by Crusader- Edited by Kavi

Labels: 498A, divorce, dowry, marriage, Men, men's rights,
Society, women, women's rights

Life is a Bag of Frozen Peas - by Michael T. Smith

A few weeks after my first wife, Georgia, was called to heaven, I was cooking dinner for my son and myself. For a vegetable, I decided on frozen peas. As I was cutting open the bag, it slipped from my hands and crashed to the floor.

The peas, like marbles, rolled everywhere. I tried to use a broom, but with each swipe the peas rolled across the kitchen, bounced off the wall on the other side and rolled in another direction. My mental state at the time was fragile. Losing a spouse is an unbearable pain.

I got on my hands and knees and pulled them into a pile to dispose of. I was half laughing and half crying as I collected them. I could see the humor in what happened, but it doesn't take much for a person dealing with grief to break down.

For the next week, every time I was in the kitchen, I would find a pea that had escaped my first cleanup. In a corner, behind a table leg, in the frays at the end of a mat, or hidden under a heater, they kept turning up.

Eight months later I pulled out the refrigerator to clean, and found a dozen or so petrified peas hidden underneath. At the time I found those few remaining peas, I was in a new relationship with awonderful woman I met in a widow/widower support group. After we married, I was reminded of those peas under the refrigerator.

I realized my life had been like that bag of frozen peas. It had shattered. My wife was gone. I was in a new city with a busy job and a son having trouble adjusting to his new surroundings and the loss of his mother. I was a wreck. I was a bag of spilled, frozen peas. My life had come apart and scattered.

When life gets you down; when everything you know comes apart; when you think you can never get through the tough times, remember, it is just a bag of scattered, frozen peas. The peas can be collected and life will move on. You will find all the peas. First the easy peas come together in a pile. You pick them up and start to move on.

Later you will find the bigger and harder to find peas. When you pull all the peas together, life will be whole again.The life you know can be scattered at any time. You will move on, but how fast you collect your peas depends on you. Will you keep scattering them around with a broom, or will you pick them up one-by-one and put your life back together?How will you collect your peas?

About the Author: Michael lives in Fort Lee , New Jersey , with his lovely wife Ginny and his son. Ginny is the light of his life and the inspiration for many of his stories. Michael works in telecommunications and writes for a hobby.

Dulha ya Bakra? (Bridegroom or Scapegoat)

Female Kidnapppers: Episode one

Place: City of Melbourne, Australia

Scenario 1: A man comes back home from work. As soon as he enters the house, he finds that whole of his house is a big mess and his wife and his kids are not inside their house.

Man (tired) : Bloody Hell, Where is Cathy off to again?

Muttering under his breath, he opens fridge to help himself with a bottle of Victoria Bitter. With an expertise that can only be acquired after years of practice, he single handedly opens the bottle against smoothly-dented end of the fridge; takes a large swig and then circles the house once again.

He notices that no food preparation is done. So he quickly puts Pasta in pot and starts it to boil. (Pasta cooking is easy for blokes, ya'll know that)

Then his eyes fall upon a piece of paper lying on middle of the dining table and imprisoned in its place by big black marker. He walks to the note and finds it to be simple note from Cathy ...

Hi Howard

Just to let you know that today was my last day with you. As you may be already be aware, I have been dating Peter at work and .... well things are little too strong between Peter and I now. I love him more than anything else in the world (you included). I am taking Jason and Brenda with me, so you are now a FREE MAN!!!

Cathy

PS : I have taken $5000 Cash from under the bed that you earned by working extra second job. I know, I know, you needed it for a new car; Your old ones a gonner. But I have taken it all to look after YOUR KIDS ONLY. They deserve a bright future.

Last line ran Howard cold. He runs to the hiding place where he had kept the money and wife had not just taken the $5,000; She had walked off with the entire box. He reckoned that there were atleast $2,000 more inside it. He gulps rest of his beer quickly and immediately regretting that he gulped it.

He muttered under breath "I've got to go to the police. I will also need to go to lawyers. Surely, those blokes will be able to help me sort out the mess that this bi*ch has now caused".

Scenario 2: Police Station

Howard is now at the Police station and is talking to the desk sergeant. He narrates his story quickly and with as much emotion as he could muster. He does get choked up when he thinks of his little girl, Brenda, but a man that he was taught to be, he does not show his moistened eye to the Sergeant. He finishes his talking and then looks with child-like-questioning-eyes at the Sergeant.

Sergeant starts with: And the problem is?

Howard (stunned): I told you, she took money and. B**ch took all that I had saved by ...
(trails off his statement realizing the source of money)

Sergeant is now bored with this man and with he gives him a Why-do-all-problems-like-this-come-only-when-I-am-shift look.

Sergeant creating the most sympathetic and yet uncaring and unemotional voice says:

Look Mate, GO HOME! She will come back!
(In any case, somebody else at the police station will have to handle you, if you come back)

Howard does not like the answer and is still deeply distressed about sudden change in his future...

Howard (getting impatient): No! I want to file a complaint!!!

Sergeant: Look Mate, you cannot file any complaint for kids. And did you bring any proof that you had the money? And Why was the money in a shoe box? How do you know that she took it?

Howard (now angry): Look!!! I have a note from her that says that

Sergeant (angrier): Hey, don't you show your attitude here. I ain't your wife.
Under his breath: no wonder she left you

Howard thumps hand on table: I want to see your superior.

Sergeant:(Lying) I am the only one you need to see. Look, you've got no case to complain for money. And Kids, well, go to family court tommorow. And last thing. You need to do something with your anger, MATE. That is why your wife left you

Howard(angry voice): No, I do not get angry. I am not that kind of man. I do not gamble, well pokies every fortnight. I did not have any other woman. I just want you to come with me to this Peter-blokes house and get my wife to return money, because I need it for my car.

Sergeant (Suddenly interested): Eh, so your car is more important than your kids?

Howard (deflated): No, you see my old car is 1962 Honda and all parts are gone. I need a new one otherwise I will not be able to go to my work.

Sergeant : I am sorry that is nothing we can help you with in this regard. Here, why don't you take this brochures about Men and separation. Call them up. (Quickly hand him a whole lot of colorful nice pamphlets)

Howard (deflated): I don't need f**king pamphlets. I need to find a caring and sympathetic ear and able hands. I adore my kids. How am I gonna live without them. Bloody B**ch. All she wanted was money. I worked like a slave to get us good stuff and all f**king C*&t wants is to ... F**K!!!

Sergeant: Sir, I have to warn you to watch your language, otherwise we will book you in for indecency.

Howard (excited): You can book for bad language? bit**.... Sorry, My wife, sorry my ex-wife has been calling me nasty names from last six months. Two weeks ago she threw a whole 4 litre can of paint on me, when I came home, because I had to forgot to bring her dress from laundry. I have scars from the edge of the can, see!!! (Excitedly pulls his shirt up to show his large beer gut)

Sergeant (chuckles) : And you say that your wife hit you with a can of paint. Is that can still there?

Howard: No it all spilled, so we threw it away.

Sergeant: How do you expect me to believe that can was thrown at you?

Howard (in disbelief) : I showed you the scar!

Sergeant repeats his canned and polite instructions and waves his hand as if he was dismissing Howard from his Royal Court. Howard has no choice, so he complies dejectedly. Next stop for Howard is nearest pub where he drinks himself silly ... (to be continued)

Exit Interview (A joke)

One day, a husband walks into his home tired after a long days work to find following note stuck on his refrigerator ...

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been real hell. Your boss called today to tell me that you had just quit your job. That was the last straw!!!

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done. I had cooked your favorite meal and had even wore a brand new negligee just for you. You came home, ate your meal in two minutes and went straight to bed after watching the game.

You don't tell me you love me anymore;
You don't touch me or do anything to make me feel special
Either you're now cheating with me or you don't love me anymore,
whatever the case maybe, I am gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't.
Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife

And what did the husband do upon reading such note? Well, He had a nice cool drink and then He wrote a reply back to his ex-wife ...

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing made my day better than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that it does not work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!". My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep knowing that you were in new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But whenI got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla.
I hope that's not a problem.

Signed
Rich As Hell and Free!